


Do you miss it?

by makerofaqueen



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Conchell, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay, High School, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mortal AU, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 05:46:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18654139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makerofaqueen/pseuds/makerofaqueen
Summary: This is the story of two boys being madly in love.It starts with their breakup.I'm sorry.





	Do you miss it?

**Author's Note:**

> This is a propmpt from tumblr user petals-fall-like-metal reading: 
> 
> Connor and Mitchell have been dating but Connor hasn't come out to Travis yet and there's this whole anxiety situation and stuff happens.
> 
> Hope I did it justice. I also could not fit this into any of my existing au's so consider this freestanding one-shot from all the fics I've previously written.

Travis opened the door before Connor could get to it. He had made an effort, he really had, to get to it first, but no. He watched Travis open it while running down the stairs. As he reached the foot of the stairs Travis turned around and grinned at him.

‘Con, your _boyfriend_ is here.’

‘Not funny,’ Connor grumbled as Mitchell pushed past Travis, gave Connor a fist-bump and proceeded to climb the stairs. Connor gave his big brother the stink-eye and followed his boyfr… his _best_ _friend_ up into his own room. He shut the door behind him. Mitchell was already lounging on the bed, looking as dazzling as ever. He was fidgeting with his phone and soon Connor’s room was filled with soft rock music.

Chris Daughtry, to be exact.

Connor sat down on the foot of the bed and lifted Mitchell’s feet in his lap. Mitchell had already kicked his vans off, so he was barefoot.

‘Nice color,’ Connor said and indicated Mitchell’s freshly painted, pastel blue toenails.

‘Right? Piper gave it to me. She got a whole box from Drew. Said it was more my color than hers.’

‘She’s right. Goes with your hair. You look like you’re making a trans statement with those new blue highlights.’

Mitchell grabbed his long braid and eyed it for a second. He had a natural pinkish tone to his blond strands. He let go of the braid and smiled at Connor.

‘I like to keep people guessing.’

‘You sure do. Remember when Mr Gunder called you a “she” for an entire semester before he realized your name was actually Mitchell and not Michelle?’

Mitchell chuckled.

‘And you got the whole class to go along with it.’

‘It was fun.’

‘Yeah.’

Connor shifted so he kind of fell sideways in between Mitchell’s legs. He had to spread them so Connor could come to rest with his head on Mitchell’s chest.

‘Do you miss it?’

‘Miss what?’

‘Being Michelle, I mean?’

‘Oh… first off, I want you to know that that’s not a name I would ever choose for myself, that was him hearing me wrong and assuming because of the way I looked that day.’

Connor turned so he was on his belly, resting his chin in his hands.

‘But…?’

Mitchell made a face.

‘…but, I don’t know. Sometimes, I guess. But I’m not ready to think deeper about that.’

Connor stretched so he could kiss Mitchell on the lips. When he pulled back, he said:

‘Okay. I won’t push. But I want you to know that when you’re ready you can always talk to me about it, right?’

Mitchell ran his fingers through Connor’s curls. He smiled.

‘I know. Thank you. And… speaking of speaking of uncomfortable things… When are you going to tell your family that their ongoing joke about us being boyfriends has been true for the past three months?’

Connor winced.

‘I… I’m trying, Mitch, I really am.’

‘I _know_. I just… I have for a long time, you know I have, and I want to get to tell people that I get to date you. I want to hold your hand. Not just in your room, or mine, but in school or at the mall.’

Connor sighed.

‘I know. I want that, too, but something keeps holding me back.’

‘Are you scared?’

Connor shrugged. He didn’t know what to say. He loved his boyfriend with all his heart, but he was so scared about what people would say, how they would treat him, if they found out he wasn’t straight. He didn’t even know how to define himself, all he knew was that when Mitchell came out as gay a couple of years ago, not everyone at school had taken it well. There had been homophobic stuff doodled on his locker, comments in the PE locker room, people pushing and tripping him as he walked by. Connor’s own brother had done a great deal of shit-talking as well and that, if anything, was what forced Connor back into his own personal closet because Travis had always been his hero, his big brother, and he didn’t want Travis to turn on him. Travis’ approval was important to Connor.

More important then living as his true self, apparently.

At this point, the shit-talking had died down because Mitchell had been so fucking un-apologetic about his queer-ness that he refused letting people use it as a slur. Also, his big sister had gotten in her fair share of fist-fights trying to protect her little brother. Piper was really popular in their school so her support for him had been crucial. Connor didn’t have that.

When Connor didn’t answer, Mitchell sighed. He sat up and pulled his legs up under himself. Connor retracted, sat up and grabbed a pillow which he hugged. Mitchell eyed him.

‘Do you want to go back to being friends again? Because if so, that’s fine. I mean, I like you, but if you don’t want to be my boyfriend I understand.’

‘No, I do, I just… I don’t see why other people need to know.’

It was a fucking lame excuse and Connor knew it.

‘I told you why. I kind of… okay, maybe this is stupid but I kind of feel like you’re embarrassed being out… with me.’

‘It’s not you…’ Connor mumbled. ‘It’s… I’m not ashamed of you as a person, I’m…’

Understanding dawned on Mitchell’s face.

‘You’re ashamed of what we are together,’ he concluded.

Connor clenched the pillow because the little fucker had hit his head on the nail like he always did. Connor hated and loved how fucking clever his boyfriend was.

‘That’s what I thought,’ Mitchell said. He got up off the bed and put his shoes back on. ‘You know what?’ he said, how much he was hurting right now evident in his voice, ‘When you’ve decided whether you want to be my friend or my boyfriend, let me know. Until then, don’t bother.’

Connor slowly looked up.

‘Are you breaking up with me?’

Mitchell turned with his hand on the door knob.

‘You tell me.’

Then he left. Connor sat on his bed and listened to Mitchell leaving the house and starting his car. The voice of Avril Lavigne did it’s best to add insult to injury as she sang: _…and the days feel like years when I’m alone…_ which was the last thing Connor heard before Mitchell backed his car out of the drive way and the connection between his phone and Connor’s Bluetooth speaker died.

Once the room became quiet, Connor started crying.

 

\--------------------------

 

_Connor was deep in his math homework. So deep, in fact, that it took him an embarrassingly long time to register the music playing from his speaker. When he finally did, he looked around his room with a furrowed brow. His speaker was pulsing with that blue light that meant it was playing, but… but Connor’s phone wasn’t streaming the music. But… but he recognized the song._ …bring sally up and bring sally down… _was echoing in his room._

_It was the first song of the movie him and Mitchell had watched together the first time Connor had gotten dumped. He had been devastated, and Mitchell, being his best friend, had shown up at his house with ice cream and a bag full of his dad’s old dvds to take his mind off the girl. Sure, they had only dated for a couple of months, but still._

_But the fact that he recognized the song didn’t explain_ why _it was playing in his room, unless…_

_Connor opened his window and peered out. There was a car running on the street outside his house. He closed the window and ran outside, pulling on his coat in the process. He skidded to a halt next to the car, opened the passenger side door and got in._

_‘You did it!’ he exclaimed. Mitchell smiled at him from the driver’s seat._

_‘First try, too.’_

_Connor hugged him._

_‘Good job! Did your… did your family give you this car?’_

_Mitchell rolled his eyes as he pulled out and they drove away._

_‘You know how mom is. Whenever either of us do something worth celebrating, off she goes with the gifts.’_

_‘Right. Now that I think about it, I do remember Piper getting one last year, right?’_

_‘Yeah. She’s been driving me to school with it. Now I can drive myself,’ he said proudly. Connor nudged his shoulder._

_‘So, where are we going?’_

_‘I don’t know,’ Mitchell admitted. ‘To be honest I kind of just wanted to take my best friend on a drive in my new car. Oh! Wanna go to a drive through?’_

_‘Sure,’ Connor said. ‘By the way, did you hack into my Bluetooth speaker?’_

\--------------------------

 

That Monday, Connor did not want to go to school. It had become a habit of theirs for Mitchell to pick him up, usually so they could have time for a ten minute make out session in Mitchell’s car before betting to school. Those could get pretty heated and on more than one occasion they had been seriously late for class. Today though, he didn’t show up. Connor wasn’t surprised. Now he just had to swallow his pride and take the bus.

To further rub salt in Connor’s wounded hearth, the bus seemed to be full of people holding hands. He sloughed in the back, keeping his head down.

He walked to class the same way. Mitchell was already in his seat, but he wasn’t at all his usual dolled-up self. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt, blue jeans, sneakers and a hoodie tied around his waist. His hair was in a messy bun and when he looked up Connor could see he wasn’t even wearing makeup. His eyes were all puffy and bloodshot as if he had been crying. Their eyes met for the briefest of moments before Mitchell turned his face away. That made Connor choke.

 

\----------------------------

_Mitchell was looking so, so good that night. Connor had to blame it on the beers he had been drinking, because damn the boy was hot, and Connor was saying that as a straight boy. If_ Connor _thought he was hot, Mitchell must have been working some kind of magic on himself before getting to the party._

_He was even having one of his more male-presenting days. Grey, sinfully skinny jeans hugged his figure and a simple, black button down was all he was wearing. Usually he looked more extravagant at parties. His pastel-pink, long hair had been softly curled, and cascaded down his back. The ends were dyed a more shocking pink for the night’s occasion. Piper must have made herself proud with that one, Connor thought. Mitchell was barely even wearing makeup, just a touch of glitter on his eyelids, and some lipstick that was an almost perfect match to the natural tone of his lips._

_They were sitting outside, on the patio. Connor had gone out to clear his head a little and Mitchell had been kind enough to join him. Mitchell was droning on about something or another, but Connor was barely listening, because he was so stuck on staring at this beautiful person sitting next to him, gracing him with his presence. Finally, Mitchell realized that his best friend wasn’t listening to what he was saying, so he quieted down and got that cute, annoyed little furrow on his brow._

_‘Connor. Hello?’_

_‘Sorry, Mitch, I was…’ Connor shook his head._

_‘Were you even listening to me?’_

_‘Honestly?’_

_‘Yes?’_

_‘No. I’m sorry. I was thinking…’_

_‘Yeah?’_

_Connor didn’t know what got into him, but he said: ‘I was thinking that you look really cute tonight.’_

_Mitchell tilted his head slightly as he eyed Connor._

_‘You’re drunk,’ he stated._

_‘Not enough to be blind.’_

_‘You’re straight.’_

_‘Not enough to be blind,’ Connor laughed. He grabbed for Mitchell, but the other guy swatted his hands away._

_‘I’m not doing this. I’m not hooking up with my best friend. My_ straight _best friend,’ he said, but his voice wavered._

_Connor slid his finger over Mitchell’s knuckles. He watched their hands rather than watching Mitchell, because he knew that would only make Mitchell more determined to not do this, and gods dammit Connor wanted to do this. Do him._

_Was that weird? Wanting to do your male best friend?_

_‘Con…’ Mitchell started. It sounded like a whine and a plea all at once._

_‘Hmm?’ Connor said and glanced up at him through his reddish bangs. He felt Mitchell gasp, and that’s how Connor knew he had won him over._

\-------------------------

 

When they woke up together in Mitchell’s bed that next morning, they had been a couple. They had been ever since. It had been three months now, but Connor still hadn’t accepted that he wasn’t straight. In a school where gay-jokes were the Thing TM, it was hard to come out. Mitchell had repeatedly said that it didn’t matter, but Connor saw how hurt he was every time Connor pulled away from him when they were in company. He wished so, so much that he could just say fuck it, and be open with his relationship but every time he tried, he failed.

If Connor would have gotten a dollar for every time he had tried coming out to his friends, coming out to his parents, coming out to Travis, he could have bought himself a car by now.

However, Connor was still fully in the closet.

So help him.

 

\----------------------

 

He walked past Mitchell and Piper on his way home. They were sitting on the hood of Mitchell’s car, talking. They were both big on talking with their hands, it was like a family thing. Once, Mitchell had been so excited about something he was explaining to Connor, that he threw his right arm out and smashed his finger in the wall. It broke, and Connor had to take him to the hospital to get it set in a cast. They had been thirteen at the time. Connor had thought it was hilarious. Mitchell had sulked for days because he was right handed and couldn’t do shit with his left hand.

The siblings quieted when Connor passed them by. He kept his head down but he could feel them look at him. Then, of course, something even worse happened.

‘Hey, little bro!’

Connor flinched as Travis punched him in the arm. He had been so focused on avoiding the looks of hatred from the McLean siblings that he hadn’t seen Travis coming.

‘What’s up? You look like you’re about to cry.’

Connor shrugged. He had no energy for Travis right now. The last thing he wanted was to walk home with his brother, pretending he didn’t want to run back there, kiss Mitchell in front of everyone and beg for his forgiveness.

So, what was really stopping him?

Well, it was the part about kissing a _boy_ in front of everyone. Connor was still scared to death about anyone finding out that he liked Mitchell, because Mitchell was a boy.

And so was Connor.

‘Honestly, what’s wrong with you? Did you have a fight with your _boyfriend_?’ Travis winked.

_If only you knew how fucking on point you are,_ Connor thought bitterly.

‘I don’t have a boyfriend,’ he muttered in response, which of course was now the painful truth.

‘Well, I was talking about Mitchell, you slow fuck,’ Travis continued. ‘I just figured. You’re sulking, and he’s not wearing makeup, so I assume he’s been crying. Also, Piper looked like she wanted to murder your ass back there. What happened?’

‘Nothing. I dunno.’

Connor thought that if he kept staring straight ahead maybe he wouldn’t start crying, too. It was hard trying to be manly when he just wanted to weep.

‘So, _did_ you guys fight or something?’

‘Travis, go away or shut the fuck up. Either way…’

Travis held his hands up in mock defense.

‘Alright. Just trying to be a good big brother.’

‘Well, try it on Cecil, will you?’ Connor grumbled and kept on walking as Travis stopped and watched him go.

He didn’t go home that afternoon. Actually, he didn’t go home until he was pretty fucking sure that Travis was buried in his homework and wouldn’t bother him with stupid questions. Only problem with that plan was that he was out way after his own curfew, which in itself meant that his parents were furious when he finally pushed the door to the house open.

‘And where the hell have you been?!” Hermes bellowed as soon as he set foot in the house. Connor didn’t even bother to try and think of a lie, he simply grumbled:

‘Somewhere Travis wasn’t,’ and went to his room without dinner. Behind him, he heard his father turn on his brother:

‘What the hell did you do this time, idiot?!’

Connor couldn’t hear what Travis answered, but he figured it wasn’t something he _wanted_ to hear.

 

\-------------------------

 

The next day, Connor did his absolute best to avoid not only his own family, but his and Mitchell’s common friends. No one knew what was wrong with either of them, and neither of them had anyone to talk to, because, well, their relationship had been a secret. Connor was starting to regret that. It would have been great to be able to talk to someone, _anyone_ , who could have offered some insight. Unfortunately, the person he had used to go to for love advice was Mitchell’s sister, and he didn’t think she would want anything to do with him right now.

 

\-------------------------

 

Travis burst into Connor’s room without knocking. He was holding spoons and Ben & Jerry’s peanut buttercup ice cream. Connor looked at him with a resigned facial expression. He didn’t even have it in him to be angry about the breach of privacy, he was so tired he had just resigned to a state where the outside world didn’t apply to him.

Travis sat down on his bed and handed him one of the ice cream buckets. Connor stared down at it. He didn’t realize he was supposed to eat it. Travis rolled his eyes and dug into his own. When Connor saw what he was doing, he followed suit. After a while, Travis said:

‘So, are you gonna tell me why you’ve been moping all week?’

‘I knew this came with strings attached,’ Connor grumbled.

‘We’re Stolls, everything comes with strings attached,’ Travis shrugged.

‘Do I have to?’

‘No, but I think it would make you feel better if you did.’

A cold lump was forming around the ice cream in Connor’s stomach.

‘I…’ he started. Travis cocked his head to one side and regarded him while he waited. ‘You wouldn’t understand,’ Connor said eventually.

‘Can I guess, then?’ Travis asked.

Connor didn’t think his thick-headed brother would ever guess correctly so he shrugged.

‘Sure.’

Travis munched on his ice cream for a moment while he seemed to be thinking and eventually said:

‘Mitchell really _did_ break up with you, didn’t he?’

Connor choked on his ice cream. He started coughing so Travis patted him on his back until his face had returned to its normal color.

‘How’d you…?’ Connor asked.

‘Please. I’m not as stupid as you seem to think. Thanks for the vote of confidence, by the way.’

‘I…’

‘Oh, shut up, stupid. We have really thin walls and music doesn’t drown out the noises of you two making out as well as you think it does.’ Connor blushed. Travis continued. ‘But more importantly, I think I’ve known about the two of you even before you did yourselves. I remember saying to Piper: Those two are gonna get married one day. You were five and we were six. Anyway…’

‘Why didn’t you _say_ anything?’

‘Because you clearly weren’t ready to tell me, and I didn’t want to push.’

‘I kind of wish you had.’

‘Well, that makes two of us. What’s with all this internalized homophobia-shit anyway?’

Connor eyed his brother.

‘I thought you were… I thought you didn’t like…’

‘Oh… Oh, fuck. Look, bro, I’m sorry I’ve been talking shit. I’ve been a terrible brother. I didn’t think you took that shit seriously.’

Connor rubbed his neck.

‘I didn’t want you to hate me. Or think I was disgusting, or something.’

‘That’s not possible,’ Travis grinned. ‘Look, if you wanna do this, if you wanna come out, I’m on your side, promise. I’ll happily beat up as many people as I have to.’

‘Really?’

‘Sure. It’ll be fun. Now come on, my sources tell me that Mitchell is gonna be home alone for the night so I’m driving you there.’

‘Right now?’

‘Right now.’

Connor wiped his suddenly sweaty palms on his jeans.

‘I should… buy him some flowers or something.’

‘Roses and chocolates are in the car already.’

‘How far along have you planned this?’

‘To the point where I’m taking Piper to the movies and coffee after so the two of you can have the house to yourselves to make up,’ Travis grinned. ‘Their parents are out of town for the weekend.’

Connor didn’t know whether to be thankful or exasperated. He shook his head as he headed for Travis’ car.

 

\--------------------------

 

Connor rang the doorbell with a sweaty finger. He was cradling the roses and chocolate. Behind him, on the street, Travis’ car was waiting. Either he would take Piper to the movies or a deflated Connor back home again. It was really up to Mitchell at this point.

Mitchell opened the door. He eyed Connor with a slight frown on his face, but he said nothing. Connor handed him the gifts.

‘I… I just came to say I’m sorry,’ he mumbled.

‘Uh – huh?’

‘And I… you were right. I was ashamed. That was stupid. I was scared because I saw how people treated you when you came out and I didn’t want that to happen to me. But those are my insecurities to deal with.’

‘Why didn’t you say that?’

‘Because I was stupid?’

Mitchell shrugged and nodded.

‘Do you… do you want to maybe come in and talk?’

‘Sure. Yeah.’

‘Is Travis going to wait in the car?’

‘No, he’s taking Piper out.’

‘ _Of course_ he is,’ Mitchell deadpanned.

They sat down on Mitchell’s bead.

‘I’m assuming from the flowers and the chocolates that you’ve made your mind up?’ he asked.

Connor nodded.

‘Uh, yeah, I… Look, I love you, and I want this. Us. I want that.’

‘You do realize I’m not keen on going back to sneaking around.’

‘Yeah… I’m sorry about that. If you’re willing to try again, I’m one hundred percent game. Holding hands at school, updating Facebook statuses, anything you want.’

Mitchell stared into the roses on his lap.

‘What changed?’

Connor rubbed his neck.

‘Uhm… I think… Travis had some valid points… but mostly I’ve realized, this week, being without you sucked. And if I have to choose between you and the rest of the school, I’ve made my choice.’

Mitchell eyed him.

‘You’re really sincere.’

Connor nodded.

‘Took you long enough,’ Mitchell growled and grabbed Connor by the front of his hoodie. He pulled him down with him on the bed and kissed him just as the front door slammed shut after Piper as she left the house.

**Author's Note:**

> Come be my tumblr friend @makerofaqueen


End file.
